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Careful what you tell an EOG golem!by Jason Cantrell 07/19/05
History Repeats Itself
by Miretar
The plan was perfect. We could and would sneak into the enemy castle
undetected, retrieve the item we needed and be on our way. The strategy
had been honed by
years of gaming—everyone would be silent, invisible and long-doored up to the
castle wall. Not a plan to appeal to Rambo, but one that did keep in mind the
first maxim of Rolemaster: "Don't fight if you don't have to."
What could possibly go wrong?
Four PCs, including my character were atop the ramparts.
Unfortunately, I had reckoned without the teenage bordeom threshold.
Player #5, a 16 year old male, suddenly shouted: "I storm the front gate."
The remaining 2 players elected to join him. Jaws dropped. Those of us whose characters were on the castle wall spent a few spirited minutes debating the intelligence of the remaining 3 players, and what we would do to their characters should we ever get our hands on them.
We decided to leave the 3 wanabe heroes to their fate and continue on our mission. Incredibly, for about 3 rounds they were actually winning, until reinforcements arrived. Even more incredibly, none of the 3 died. They were dragged into the castle in chains and left hanging from the dungeon walls.
I was, however, able to rescue them, using the flying carpet we acquired during our discreet, but thorough search of the premises. I went back in solo, invisible and silent of course, and got them out of the dungeon. There were no guards. Either the GM was taking pity on me or the bad guys figured no one in their right mind would try to rescue anyone who had done something so abysmally stupid. After the adventure, we sent them on their way and refused to have anything more to do with them.
Recently I encountered this little video vignette from World of Warcraft, that proves that player 6 and his cohorts do not have a monopoly on stupidity. It takes a while to load, but is worth the wait: http://hem.bredband.net/b222680/leeroy.wmv
Careful what you tell an EOG golem!
by Jason Cantrell
A few years ago I was lucky enough to run a campaign with the Shadow world module - Quellbourn.
The module is set up where this fantastic city is surrounded by a sphere of arcane magic. This sphere was created by a vast number of wizards, warlocks, magicians, sorcerers and the like to protect the city from hostile forces. The entire city is surrounded by this 'bubble' of magic that stretched up into the sky and down below the earth.
Whilst gallivanting around inside the city, the players happened upon an EOG golem in statuette form. They thought this golem would make a valuable asset to the party. They did find out, however, that this golem could be given just ONE command after it was activated.
As a crazed and powerful sorcerer attacked the party, one of the players 'activated' the EOG golem. He commanded the golem to 'destroy!!!!' and pointed to the sorcerer.
Well, seeing an opportunity to take advantage of his haste I, the GM, placed a simple and unique twist on this request. The golem did help them defeat the mad sorcerer, however the golem misunderstood the extent of what the player meant by "destroy". Without a superior intellect to guide him he started "destroying" everything! Wagons, chairs, lamp posts, buildings and even the street were targets of this command. Since he was made of EOG he didn’t take damage at all from falling ceilings, rocks or brick. He just continued to destroy everything he could get his hands on.
The story continues...
The players left the city quickly, beating the humbled player all the way
out of the magical gate. They turned on horseback to witness buildings
crumbling and the fantastic city being destroyed by this EOG golem.
The players left the area and they had many more wondrous adventures until
one day...
One of the original PC's wanted to return to Quellbourn and steak their claim on the city. They thought it would be a great place to set up and use for a home base. Gathering up the old party they set off to visit this city once again.
Upon rounding a hilltop they were taken back by what they saw before them. The city was no more. All the buildings were gone. All of the structures collapsed, everything had been turned to rubble. In the middle of the sphere - standing in thick powder was the golem! After all of these years it was still functioning! It was still crushing, pounding and smashing anything it could get its hands on. Half of the sphere was empty and open sky and the other half was a course powder, slowly being ground into a fine powder by the golem!
Needless to say they did NOT enter the city. They would have had quite a time dealing with something so powerful. Years after that players decision to give that fateful command to the golem he still received a smack on the back of the head by another player! It was hilarious!
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