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YOU COULD JUST HEAL HIM YOURSELF!!!! by skoehler@metlife.com 05/19/05
I never would have bet they’d have made it as far as they did, but against all odds the characters found a hidden room full of chests. They *know* the chests have treasure because, as one of the most intelligent characters in the party put it, that’s why they call them “treasure chests”. I guess you just can’t argue with logic like that.
So one by one they pushed, pulled, and dragged the chests out of the hidden room nearly killing two of the players in the process. But not to be deterred from their goal, they finally had all the chests out of the ruins and in an open area where they could rest. Each chest was identical: sturdy and locked with a simple padlock. They talked about how to open the chests because no one knew how to pick a lock. They had shaken one of the chests, I rolled randomly to see which they picked, and told them they could definitely hear the jingle of coins inside. Then I believe it was the brawny fighter who came up with their action plan: to carry a chest up to the top of the highest tower and throw it off, hitting what remained of the castle wall and breakimg open. Then they’d be able to run back down to the courtyard and see what came out. The look of absolute shock on my face was not enough to dissuade them so I did mention that sure, one side of the wall was the courtyard but the other side was a very sheer cliff face going straight down. The players assured me this was a good plan.
They hauled the lightest chest (not the one that jingled) to the roof and the warrior heaved the chest onto his shoulder. My intent was to do a fall/crush attack against the chest and if they did enough damage or got a critical about something breaking, I’d say it opened. The player looked somewhat disappointed when he fumbled and I described his mighty throw that sent the chest clearly over the wall and, more importantly, over the cliff.
YOU COULD JUST HEAL HIM YOURSELF!!!!
by skoehler@metlife.com
My friend Dave was playing a character much like himself: strong, eager to please and not particularly clever. The campaign had been running for nearly a year, the main theme of which was that a great evil demon was bent on obtaining an artifact that would make him all-powerful. The characters, coincidentally, each had one piece of this artifact, each with it's own powers (think the Infinity Gauntlet from the old Marvel comics). The whole quest came to a head in a great battle on another plane of existence. Dave's character, Lance had the following conversation with my character, Sebastian, just after Sebastian had received a critical that would be fatal in just a few rounds. The combat over, Lance combined and took hold of the ultimate artifact.
GM to Lance: "You feel the artifact fill you with unimaginable power. You are the master of all, there is nothing you can not do."
Sebastian, dying: *cough*
Lance, panicked that his good friend is dying: "I am now a GOD, my power is absolute! I can teleport you to the best healer in existence!"
Rest of party, dumbstruck: "OR........"
Lance: "..........."
Rest of party shouting: "YOU COULD JUST HEAL HIM YOURSELF!!!!"
Lance, chagrined, slaps his forhead and heals Sebastian.
All the players couldn't stop laughing for hours.
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